I think the solution is right in our faces. Look at how FreeBSD installs; they give you all you will need, then they say here are some additional software etc. choose to your liking, choose <this> to get more info. If you want to install everything on the discs you have that option too.
I guess all the linux have something like that. Only thing, peoples opinion, like with Windows are playing too much of a part in it. If they should give you a bare functioning install and then a separate install process for the addons then the problem would be partly solved.