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Thread: real jamaican tech jokes to share?

  1. #41
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    [quote author=<<MiTcHiE>> link=board=1;threadid=1148;start=15#msg16398 date=1062380894]
    Is this girl a techjamaican member?? If she is, i am woried.
    [/quote]

    Nope, we can thank the good Lord for that!

    The mouse like a foot pedal, that's new :-\

  2. #42
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    TMM, that has got to be the funniest single post I have ever read. Dontchyall just love the vivid imagery and the play by play commentary? Last time I read something that good was J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit". Definitely looking forward to see more from you! ;D

    BCK - You darn right about that! It happens all the time @ my office! I've spent the better part of 15 minutes trying to determine which office tool they are using before even getting to realise they have white out on the screen! (God I'm so evil... ;D )

    TMM touched on a very important point. Guiding a clueless fogie through the ropes is PAIN-stakingly difficult. Most times it's just better to just walk over there. Thank God the office grounds are aesthetically pleasing. At least when I'm walking across to their offices, I can enjoy the rolling grassy lawns, the palm trees, the beautiful flowers, politicians walking around with their body guards......... wait......... that doesn't belong in the picture...... >

    .....that's why I went postal on that little secretary. She's quite a young lass, so she had no excuse. She's been bugging me about that PDA ever since she saw me with the Axim. It's like one of those kids that sees a new toy and goes "I want one!". So the first thing she does is ring up her "husband" (yeah right) to get her one. She got it within the week. This lass has ABSOLUTELY NO CLUE what a PDA is good for. That just added significantly to my annoyance. > There are times I swear this woman would call me over there to stare in my face....

    Me: "What's wrong THIS time?!"

    She: "My mouse is stuck..... oh seeta move deh! tanx yeeeeaaar?"

    *her pearly white teeth (complete with mini gap in front row centre) are showing at this point*

    And every 20 minutes, 5 days a week, she has another problem that magically rectifies itself as soon as I show up. I was actually thinking of borrowing a spade from one of the gardeners on my way over to her office >.....

    I mean, she can't say that she's country, because there are country boys (and girls) here that are far more knowledgeable than I. In fact, there are country lads here who I have more respect for than many of my Kingston tech collegues. That makes it even worse for her.

    Yes, I do believe she is from Westmoreland. That patois was particularly bad (or contorted, or broken, whatever...) and based on the gibberish that I hear my cousins from said parish speak, she is definitely from either Lamb's River or Bluefields.... That patois warrants its own god-forsaken dictionary. :

    But Matronyx and y'all are right. Fogies must go. Fogies must go, Fogies must..........

  3. #43
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    Ok, here's another one.
    I get a call from a lady at work who is trying to print something for a presentation. She claims the colour printer isn't working - whenever she prints, nothing prints on the paper.
    I go over, look at her screen- she has power point up with yellow text.
    I look at the paper in the printer - it's yellow. :-X

  4. #44
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    Yet another...
    I get a call from a frantic lady claiming that a virus must be on her computer as she was working when her application disappeared. I check it out, she has minimized the app...I press Ctrl+Tab till it comes back on the screen >

  5. #45
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    Not only are they colour blind, but they are clueless. A very bad combination.

  6. #46
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    Guys i am used to getting stupid troubleshooting jobs to do at my office. i got a call one day from this lady saying that she sent summen to print and it isnt printing.

    I decided to go through the list of troubleshooting questions i normally use. But for some reason i couldnt figure it out, i told her to restart her pc, restart her printer session, and still no luck.
    I started to think to myself "I wonder if the printer is on", but since i was sort of new at this job i didnt want to seem like i had no manners, so i pondered whether or not to ask, but i had no other option so i asked. and yep, it was off all this time while this woman was cussing me out saying my company is this and that.

    Oh and by the way she had no clue how to turn it on :

  7. #47
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    You guys notice how this thread has moved from "Real Jamaican Tech Jokes to share" to "Jamaica's Dumbest Tech Support Calls"?

  8. #48
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    They're Jamaican, they're still real, and they're still quite funny dude.

  9. #49
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    Talking Funniest IT support Calls

    I did a serach and didn't see much, so I wanted to get some experiences of users about their worst experiences where the problem lie between the computer screen and the chair. I.E. DEFECTIVE END USER

    Jamaica Tech Jokes to share this has some good ones too

    Now I just got employed to this company, since February 2006...and so I don't get fired before my contract expires I wont say where.......They got an IT Department 4 members. Now before I reached my desk the first day people were asking to fix alot of simple problems. I thought this was weird they already got tech staff but anyways, being a nice guy I helped. I soon found out why though, remember these are IT person who have been certified and been working here for over 5 years.

    Firstly these people have a mixed up network, 95/98/2k/xp running a AD on 2k.
    Cool they say they got an additional dc as backup and offset load, but they say its not working properly, when I checked it out these people heard it was a good idea to split the services DHCP, DNS etc to reduce load and provide security so you know what they did right , remove DNS from the additional DOMAIN CONTROLLER......they also stopped File Replication Service on the PDC because they didn't know what it was for. Gee I wonder why the server couldn't be promoted.

    It gets better, everyone was having trouble accessing anything on the network by DNS name, and they always had trouble adding computers to their network, when I checked it out, the DNS on every computer they added to their network was using C&W DNS set manually. In the DHCP they hadn't configured anything at all about DNS, gateway etc so it would have been automatically assigned, when the client recieves an IP.

    Ohh its gets better
    No they all don't like me now, cause I know a little stuff about computers and generally I fix problems they takes hours to fix in minutes......like this one on Monday a user calls in their computer won't boot, so tech guy A goes, comes back after 4 hours, nothing can be done to this computer, he needs a new one, tech guys A & B go on tues, after 3 hours they don't know whats wrong with the PC, it can't be fixed, wednesday all three go, and at 4 in the evening they were all saying the same thing, it can't be fixed. Thursday I am rather pissed of hearing it can't be fixed(cause I got my own job to do), I go in with the whole department looking on me I must add, cause they think we are all incompetent, 45sec later (I swear 45 seconds) I am walking out to the next problem that couldn't be fixed....The problem a diskette was in the floppy drive, but since it was using a IBM boot loader it didn't state that error.

    That was last week today, they are all out making calls and a user comes in swinging his mouse he needs a new mouse, he says the tech guys always give him a new one when his has stop working....so I ask whats the problem, he replies the mouse keeps sticking, until now it has completely stopped moving. So I open the mouse (sorry no laser here) and the rollers have so much gunk on them, they can't spin. So I clean it off an in 2 minutes (it was a lot of dirt) he is all good again. So out of curiosity I look at the other defective rats they had, because I notice they buy rats quite often. Now do I really need to tell you that they all had the same prolem. Now I don't wonder why I am using a 233 mhz computer with 128 mb of ram running a questionable copy win XP, after buying so much rats whats left in the budget. (yeah thats what i have been sing for the last 3 months)

    Now the classic joke, almost everyone in the organization was placed in the domain administrator group in the AD because they wanted everyone to be administrators on their local computers.

    Now don't get me started on tech's who don't know how to create a shared folder or printer much less set security restrictions on it. what happens if the user has the language bar enabled and accidentally presses ctrl+shift. Why if ping continually drop packets something might be wrong with the cable and not the computer etc

    And Finally to top it off, we had this project doing on the weekend, last month so I realized their potential or lack of and gave them simple task to do, all they needed to do was go on a website and add some data, now on friday i noticed cw was acting up and the pages were timing out, no problem hit back and try again right. I gave them saturday and sunday to do it, it was easy if i even showed what there were to do you would say I was lying. When i came sunday they said they couldn't do it because the page was giving problem. Would you believe I did the same task the got 2 days for in 2 hours. But they complained to the manager that it was my fault, because I knew about the problem and didn't tell them how to fix it, so we were 3 days late in delivering and its a project in which someone head is gonna roll. Since they are all cozy with everyone here regardless of their skill and my boss easily accept their story, and reported it and I was reprimanded in a meeting. Why is everything spinning, ohhh my head is rolling.

    I think I am gonna make it into a another thread the 'supervisor from hell'.
    bored with too much to do

  10. #50
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    Default

    tha thread de wha u link mad!!!!!!!!


    white out :dwl:
    hp touchsmart 610 1030f

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