real jamaican tech jokes to share?

[Xenocrates]

Damn...

[sandor]

Needless to say, these poor accounting people weren't amused. They distrusted all techies after that. The guy who swindled them disappeared.

people will continue to be swindled ... even the poor govt. .. i mean, they recently paid US$500,000 for a web site. LOL. now that's a real jamaican tech joke.

[Dea_mos]

well lets talk about Brutal..

i was at the science lab when a lower school youth call mi zeen...

MR warren.. the lady down the office call yuh sar

so i went down there.. she was like ""tha secretary"

warren it nah work..everytime mi turn on the computer it seh MAY 31, 2000. Look panni fi mi nuh..

well i am not much of a technician ..but NASTRO seh it could be the battries that cause those things..well i remmebered and because i never wanted to open any computer..i just said..MRS @#$@#& tha machine deh need a battery...mi have a class a teach right now soh.. tomarrow mi buy one an put it in kool... then i went into setup changed back the date and told her the date would be correct until shi turn it off again.
THe next day when i went to work..i saw a chinese looking japaneese bredrin wid about 20 screw driver and a new ups system...(no big deal its a school right..people pas throw all the while).. the secretary sey
---- warren ..guess a wha did happen yuh right the man seh a di battery..but it was extremely technical to change it...so im bring it down him office change the battery..fix the memory..fix the date and find a virus..but mi never know seh a soh it expensive fi fix computer..yuh know how much it cost...15 GRAND..

soh mi turn to the bursar..and seh mr #%^#^ how much?..he said yeah it did really wha fix... ;D

[Xenocrates]

[quote author=Teacha_Dee link=board=1;threadid=1148;start=30#msg16631 date=1062553400]
MR warren.. the lady down the office call yuh sar.......
.......i saw a chinese looking japaneese bredrin[/quote]

- ROFLMAO!!! ;D ;D ;D *wiping tears from eyes*

Do people really talk like that in Mobay? - LOL!

Jah know.... lol!

[odsamuels]

[quote author=BaddBwoi link=board=1;threadid=1148;start=30#msg16694 date=1062623528]
Good gosh Xeno you could have been alot less brutal than that. ;D Can you imagine the poor lady after dat - the disappointment and dismay not to mention dashed hopes after finding out that her PDA was a mere pocket organiser?

I had my fair share of lawfta afte reading the posts. Den jus tuff!! 8)
[/quote]

Yeah.. she'll prolly never buy an organizer again! ;D

[Xenocrates]

LOL!

Yu seet! No but seriously still, that lady was quite a nuisance. There's a point when you can stand s'much and ye can't stands n'more! - and to think, she was my age! But then, her slurred speech led me to believe she was born out of town - mebbe Westmoreland? St. Elizabeth? She spoke a very different breed of patois. It was like german almost...trus' me! She actually thought that my english was rather "polished" and that I sounded like a foreigner.....ooook then.... :

Was it Nastro that was telling me that the people at that place are stupid? I am inclined to believe him! Ofcourse, you have to exercise tact and judgement since the lotta them are old people... or something like that.... and they might fire my @$$ if I so much as snicker at the fact that they think it's cool to white out text on your screen with REAL white out...... :

It's time Gov't flushed out all these old dinosaurs from the system. This is a new age, the digital era! Time to bring in some fresh young blood into the system. These old fogies still can't tell the difference between a computer monitor and a sheet of paper!

Too many tech support calls reaching me nowadays just because they don't know that they should set their printer properties to print LEGAL if they are using LEGAL paper (duh! : ), or that they should set the print destination to Paper Cassette 1 if you don't want to maual feed one sheet of paper at a time for a 127 page document! (d-d-d-duh! : )

You see the kind of silly things I have to deal with?!

This age of technology is just not for them. I keep remembering that old fogie and her white out on the computer screen. Fascinating idiocy if you ask me... Whiteout on a computer screen.... my God.... :

Gov't needs to change out all of it's old people. Is just politics keeping them in there long after they've hit 60! It makes administrative work FAR easier if you ask me. Young people won't call and ask you silly questions about page orientation and printer cassettes, or worse yet, to scrape off white-out from a computer screen. This is just ridiculous!

Wouldn't y'all agree?

[matronyx]

I must agree that the various technological advances have proven to be quite a road block to most older folks. In fact, I feel a sense of despair eminating from some who have had a "solid" job only to be made useless by a computer.
They have nowhere else to turn, since their eyes are too sensitive to be put through the rigorous getting-used-to-pc tasks, not to mention memory loss due to old age (deffinately no pun intended).
Take my step-dad for example.....it pains me to see him use a mouse!! He has to click the Start menu...then s-l-o-w-l-y move the cursor over to a submenu.
Showing him keyboard shortcuts is almost pointless.

I must be adamant though when it comes to our various organisations here in Jamaica embracing technology as it comes off the shelf.... GRAB IT!!!
The older folks can still supervise, and hey.... it isn't as if we have no appreciation for the work they have done, no ... indeed we do value the contribution they have made. But time for the new guns to let fire their barrels!! 8)

LOL ;D
people that are born in St.Elizabeth and Westmorland have slurred speech??? ??? i tell u,learn something new everyday.

[The Main Menu]

I have to agree with y'all here. I was passed over for a job at my own office which went to an older guy who thought the tally printer was a photocopier! and then he'd call me about twice a day to remind him how to take off the overtype in Word...and they told me they needed someone with more experience :'(

My boss? She's another case... I have to keep reminding her that she has to select the text BEFORE she can cut and paste it :

And I never thought of using the fax machine as being technical but she decided one day that she wanted to send her own fax. This is how it went...

<footsteps approaching the fax machine> "Shelliii, I need to send a fax but I want to do it myself..."
< looking up from my desk with curiosity> "Okay Lisa*, just press the speaker buton then dial the number"
<silence> "Where's the speaker button?"

I got up and went over to her. It's always easier that way.
<pointing at the button with the speaker on it> "That one"
<confused> "But it doesn't say 'speaker'"
<no answer>

Of course she put the paper in the wrong way so I attempted to fix it...
"No, I want to do it myself"

After a few tries (how many different ways can you turn the paper?) she got it right and I retreated to my desk

<dialtone. numbers being dialed....>
"Are you sure this thing is working? This machine isn't working...What's that noise?

< I look up. no one answers>

"Shelliiiii, what's that noise?"

<in disbelief>
"That's the fax tone Lisa"

"Oh.... But it's not going. Why isn't it going?"
<no answer>

"Shellliiiiiii, it's not going!"

"You have to press 'send' Lisa"

"Oh"
<fax tone stops>
"Oh okay, it's working now"
<footsteps retreating>

I was kinda surprised that no one broke out into laughter cause the office was really quiet so I know everyone heard. I guess it took a little while to sink in, cause it really is that sad. We all cried over it at lunch though ;D. It's no wonder she thinks I'm a techie :-\

[BlackCryptoKnight]

What annoys the heck out of me is when someone has a problem doing something on the PC and you ask "What application are you using?" and they reply gleefully..."Microsoft!" :-\