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Thread: real jamaican tech jokes to share?

  1. #21
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    lol ;D ;D i have to say i never laugh this hard in a long time ;D


    Xen the one with the white out really take the cake ;D

  2. #22
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    Dis thread nice ;D Here's my contribution...
    Years ago, while working in a computer lab, there was a tutorial going on, and this lady (a Masters student in some Management Studies discipline), was going through her routine when she suddenly became quite frantic. "Lab tech, lab tech!" she cried.
    I went over, asked what the trouble was and she replied: "I can't find it..." she said. "Find what?" I replied. "I can't find the ANY key...". I looked on her screen...it said "Press ANY key to continue.."

    I tapped a key on the keyboard and walked away.

  3. #23
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    Ok... this isn't Jamaican, but it still tuff ;D

    A lady called tech support at the vendor of her new PC.
    She claimed that the mouse wasn't working.
    The tech support guy talked her through checking whether it was plugged in, driver installations, switching ports (it was a serial mouse) and all of that, but nothing worked. A technician was dispatched to go on site and check out the problem. When the technician reached there, he asked her to turn it on, and show him what the problem was. She turned it on, and started to use the mouse...as a foot pedal like on a sewing machine :-X
    "See...it's not working" :-X

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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    Noooooo Starrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!

    I feel.................................. BLESSED
    I love this thread, whenever i feel down i just re read some of the posts and then walk away feeling great

  5. #25
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    Awright...mi haffi busss a nex 1 ;D

    A guy brought his computer to a breddrin of mine who fixes them, and told him that something was wrong with it. Mi breddrin ask him what happen, ran through a list of common problems, but the guy said that all of those things were ok. "Den is whaapen to it?" mi breddin ask him. "Bwoy, from di odder day, di cup-holder nah work."
    was what the guy said while pointing to di CD-ROM drive. ??? : ;D :-X

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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    [quote author=BlackCryptoKnight link=board=1;threadid=1148;start=15#msg16418 date=1062391702]
    Awright...mi haffi busss a nex 1 ;D

    A guy brought his computer to a breddrin of mine who fixes them, and told him that something was wrong with it. Mi breddrin ask him what happen, ran through a list of common problems, but the guy said that all of those things were ok. "Den is whaapen to it?" mi breddin ask him. "Bwoy, from di odder day, di cup-holder nah work."
    was what the guy said while pointing to di CD-ROM drive. ??? : ;D :-X
    [/quote]
    Honestly after reading this i didnt even smile, ??? ??? ??? ??? ??? and then i imagined the scenario, and yow we got some strange people out there.

    Can someone tell me y he thought a cup holder should come out of an electronic device like a computer?
    I mean i know computers make our lives easier,but cmon, this guy is either incredibly smart or he really thought that the cd rom tray was a cup holder. : : :

    I am here imagining someone doing this and it is hilarious. even newbies to a pc wouldnt ever think of doing that.

    BlackCryptoKnight how old did this guy look????

  7. #27
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    [quote author=<<MiTcHiE>> link=board=1;threadid=1148;start=15#msg16421 date=1062392196]
    BlackCryptoKnight how old did this guy look????
    [/quote]

    He was a big responsible man - late 20s early 30s. This happened a few years back, while I was still on campus.

    CD-ROM bloopers seemed to be common around that time. I recall a fellow Comp. Sci. student trying like the devil to get her floppy disk into the PC, but complaining that "The drive was too big, and it wouldn't fit properly". She was trying to stick the floppy in the CD-ROM drive. I cringed at that one. :-X :-[

  8. #28
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    ahhh boy, this is scaring me. if people who have a degree or doing a degree course in computing doing these things, imagine what a person who hasnt a clue about computers is gonna do if they get around ur pc????

  9. #29
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    Y'know... It's actually comforting to know that the people I work with directly in Gov't are smarter than this, quite savvy people indeed - the managers that is...

    ...so there was this one secretary who said that she bought a PDA, and wanted to sync it with her PC. She called me ALL THE WAY ACROSS from Executive building at OPM to the Devon road office because she was SOOO excited about getting her new PDA. I swear, she sounded like a kid on the phone who just got a new bicycle. So I figure, ok, what the heck, can't hurt. Besides I love looking at new technology. However, when I got there... I was astonished...

    This is a little long. So bear with me.

    First of all:

    1) - The "PDA" is neither Pocket PC nor Palm. It doesn't even run Linux. It's not even a colour screen. It's not even backlit. In fact, it's just a fancy organiser. I'm not trying to be cynical here. It IS an organizer. You know one of those black 'n white chunky dot-matrix screens? Yeah. My Nokia 3310 has a higher resolution on it.

    2) - She said that it has a cradle that plugs into the PC. When I check it, her "cradle" is nothing more than a battery charger.

    3) - She said that she can surf the net on it. So I asked her where her Compact Flash port is. She pointed to the Compaq PC on her desk with a blank, clueless look on her petite face. Restraining the laugh, I showed her my Axim's CF port. She was like... "oooh... look see if it 'ave it fimi". I didn't need to look. Her "PDA" was almost as thin as a CF card itself. Like I said, it was nothing more than an organiser.

    4) - Ofcourse, her battery charger doesn't have any way to interface with her PC - No USB cable, no Serial port cable. Like I said, it's just a battery charger.

    5) - Her organiser doesn't "dock" with her battery charger. There's no docking port on it's underside. Like I said, it's just an organiser.

    6) - I asked her about its bluetooth expandability. Her response was that she has already brushed her teeth this morning. So I looked at her, with a very serious grimace. I knew this was hopeless. :

    OK... now here's the hard part. How do you tell an obviously clueless person who got their hopes HIGH up that their "PDA" is nothing more than an organiser? Does she even KNOW what an organiser is?

    So I power up my Axim. It gets brutal from here:

    She sees the backlit screen

    "Wickiiiid! My own cyaa do dat!"

    She sees the high definition colour screen

    "Wickiiiid! My own cyaa do dat!"

    She sees a high resolution desktop wallpaper

    "Wickiiiid! My own cyaa do dat!"

    She sees me touch the "Start" button, and a list of menu items drops down.

    "Wickiiiid! My own cyaa do dat!"

    She sees me go into Microsoft Word, type up a document, bring up a saved spreadsheet in Excel, bring up an E-Book in Adobe Acrobat reader, run through a few bible verses on my Pocket Bible, scroll through a picture gallery, initiate my Contacts folder, and type up an e-mail to myself, and then for the icing on the cake:

    Use Media player to play Beres Hammond's Rock Away. (I was going to do a Linkin' Park flex on her - but I doubt she'd get it.)

    After the mini PDA expo, she was like:

    "......................." (actually, no response. At this time her bottom lip was longer than her top one - you know that look? Yeah.)

    So for the finale, I took her organiser in my left hand, my Dell Axim in my right hand, and went like this:

    Lift up left hand and say "Organiser?"

    Lift up right hand and say "PDA!"

    Lift up left hand and say "Organiser?"

    Lift up right hand and say "Pocket PC!"

    Lift up left hand and say "No Internet?"

    Lift up right hand and say "Internet!"

    Lift up left hand and say "No Music?"

    Lift up right hand and say "Dolby Stereo!"

    Lift up left hand and say "Non standard text?"

    Lift up right hand and say "Microsoft Word!"

    Lift up left hand and say "Black 'n white LCD?"

    Lift up right hand and say "Backlit 240x320 65,000 colour resolution!"

    Lift up left hand and say "No expandabilty?"

    Lift up right hand and say "Compact Flash, Secure Digital, WiFi & Bluetooth"

    Lift up left hand and say "Organiser?"

    Lift up right hand and say "PDA!"

    After the demo, I bid her adieu, and strolled back to my office. She hasn't called me back since. ;D

  10. #30
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    Default Re:real jamaican tech jokes to share?

    Xeno, yu coulda have likkle pity pon di poor lady

    Anyways, yu hav sum heartless peeple in di tech world...
    A breddrin of mine who sells and services PCs went to a small accounting firm after they called him because their Novell server wasn't working properly. They couldn't access any of the resources, files printing etc. When my breddrin reached, he asked them to show him where the Novell Server was. They pointed him to a PC running Windows 98. He asked again where the Novell server was.
    Again they pointed him to the PC running Windows 98. Apparently, the person they had originally contracted to set up their Novell server some days before had gave them a PC with Win98 and told them it was Novell (you'd think the bright Windows 98 logo would clue people). In addition to that, the same guy was to have given them an 8Gb Hard disk for the server but put a 2Gb disk in the Win98 PC, sold them a CD-ROM for $20,000 (this was about 3 years ago, and I don't remember CD-ROM prices being anywhere near that high), and a Zip 100 drive for about $25,000

    Needless to say, these poor accounting people weren't amused. They distrusted all techies after that. The guy who swindled them disappeared.

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