I HOPE THE ADMINISTRATORS DON'T HAVE A FIT...
Three boys are playing outside just after dark, when one of them noticed a light on in a window.
Billy says to Johnnie and Joey: "Let's take a peek!"
They look in the window and see a pretty woman undressing.
Suddenly, Johnnie runs away and the other boys can't find him.
The next day, Billy and Joey see Johnnie and ask: "Why'd you run away, you some kind of faggot or something?"
Johnnie replies: "No, my mother told me that if I ever do anything naughty, say anything naughty or even LOOK at anything naughty, God would turn me into stone. Well, when I looked in that window I started to get hard, so I ran away!"
Little Johnny came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard.
Rigormortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air.
When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why is his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming, "Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"